Your Survival Blog
Love thy neighbor
Imagine a really massive disaster: a 9-point earthquake in your city that buckles bridges, collapses buildings and highways, destroys gas and water mains. A tsunami or tornado that wipes away most of the homes and stores in your town. A volcanic eruption that fills the sky with ash, ensuring that no flights will be able to come in or out of your area for a week.
Who do you suppose will help you, during the first days and even weeks after the catastrophe?
Not the emergency medical technicians or police or firefighters; not the National Guard or similar at-home military force; not international aid agencies.
No, the people who will save you, if you’re at home and you need assistance, are your neighbors. (If you’re at work, the first responders will be your coworkers and workers in surrounding offices or shops or buildings. If your children are at school, they’ll rely on their teachers and school staff. With luck, eventually, you can all reunite at home — if it’s still there — and then you’re back to working with your neighbors.)
Now I live in a cohousing community, a kind of neighborhood designed by the people who live there; we’re committed to knowing our neighbors and working together on a regular basis. Not everyone is so lucky. But if you’re in the same sort of bind we were in our previous house — where you live on big lots out in suburbia, kids need playdates to see each other, and you can’t even remember most of your neighbors’ names — there are ways to get to know them.
- If there’s an existing neighborhood association — or even a PTA or similar group with heavy representation from your neighborhood — go to one of their meetings or events, and say hello to people. If there isn’t one and you think there’s a good reason — many of you oppose a certain development in your area, or need to lobby your town for better water, or whatever — start emailing a few people and create one.
- Hold a block party. Put flyers on everyone’s mailbox suggesting a gathering and soliciting a team to help plan it. If your locality requires permits or fees for street parties or alcohol consumption outside homes, cross your t’s and dot your i’s before you continue: being shut down by the police is no fun. Plan several activities (popular ones include face-painting for children, live music, races or contests, bouncy castles, talent shows, and sprinkler or other water play), issue another round of flyers inviting everyone to the party, and enjoy!
- In small towns, there are often unexpected hangouts: the town dump (or “transfer station"); Town Meeting. Go socialize at these whenever possible.
- Invite the dozen closest families to a party at your house with games for the kids and tasty-but-light beverages for the adults. (This might be a look-it’s-spring! celebration, barbecue, back-to-school party or even holiday party, depending on the season. If holiday, though, make it as secular as possible, so neighbors from different religious and cultural backgrounds will be more likely to attend.) Find openings to chat with each neighbor and to introduce them to each other.
- Take a walk around the neighborhood with small packages of cookies or home-baked bread, introducing yourself to everyone. (If you’ve lived in the neighborhood for years and so have they, this will feel completely intimidating; I know, because I chickened out on doing it myself. But depending on how extroverted you are, you might succeed.)
And think of all the other benefits of getting to know people. Not only are you more likely to work well together in an emergency, but everyday safety will be enhanced (neighbors are more likely to look out for each other, and for the other children in the neighborhood, when they know each other). You’ll be able to borrow a cup of sugar more easily when you need it, or find a babysitter in a pinch. You’re less likely to argue over minor annoyances like barking dogs. And you’ll find people who potentially share your interests. If luck is with you, you may even expand your circle of friends!
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